Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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