i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You pole danced in your parka.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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