we're blogging at a bar
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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