i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
did you just send me my own nude
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
