We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
