So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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