White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
