dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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