So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
