with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
