Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
