Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
