After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
