sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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