whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Randomize
