nut hugger
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize