even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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