i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
