Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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