Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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