marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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