Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
