One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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