Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
