Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high people should be assigned attendants
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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