we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
