just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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