She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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