I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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