When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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