Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize