and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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