I look better un-naked...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
