Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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