pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
