people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
