This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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