Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
