It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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