sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize