thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
