My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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