Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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