how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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