hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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