you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
