honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
