i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
this is an emotional support booty call
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
