You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize