Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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