You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
