my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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