There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize