My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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