I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
